On September 21, 2012, I graduated from photo school. I was full of pride, ambition, and serious motivation. I had goals! Five years ago I never would have or could have anticipated that I'd be where I am now, in every sense of the word. The truth is I worked SO hard to make this website special and really mine, I spent time creating a FB business page, I researched and read and compared and thought hard about prices. I basically thought of and planned for everything: that is everything except the inability to get clients. And I mean the right kind of clients. I advertised, bought business cards, traveled to key locations and gave all my info. I went anywhere I could think of that would help get my name out and into the minds of the kind of clients I was looking for. But alas, the clients didn't come. I didn't understand why. I mean, I was literally doing what all the greats said to do. In fact, I can't even count the number of times I read advice on an expert's blog, or watched a video and went down their list. I had in fact DONE EVERYTHING. I tried to keep the faith; not in some higher power, but in the people. I told myself that they would see my work and understand why I had to charge a living wage. I told myself they would value my art. I told myself people were brave and wanted to follow the trends and try birth photography (and boy was I right about that!). I told myself to just give it time. So I've given it time, and I won't lie - over the last two years I haven't put that much effort, other than this blog, into my business. My health has pretty much taken over my life, and I am heartbroken. My enthusiasm has faded as I have become more engrossed in my pain, and that makes the hurt even worse. I hurt because I feel like I let myself down. I hurt because I am now one of those "photographers" instead a recognized photographer. Mind you, I never had any ambition to be famous. That's definitely not for this introverted soul. All I ever wanted was fulfillment that could pay the rent and let me retire. I am embarrassed. No, five years doesn't really mean anything. I can take as long as I want and need to make this happen, and that's why my site is still here. That's why I continue to blog every month, even though it's no secret I hate it. And I will continue to do so until the day comes when I say "enough", because I am Susan Bibula, and I don't break a promise. I promised myself I would blog once a month no matter what. Well this has been a very, very rough year, and there have been a lot of "what"s, but I'm still here, writing, hoping someone will read this, check out my photos and go: "Whoa! What a talented woman! I want to hire her!" Here's hoping...
Warmly,
Susan
Warmly,
Susan
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