The definition of insanity is...

doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. We've all heard that, right? I'm betting we're all guilty of it, too. Shoot, I know I am, especially when it comes to people. I just a photographer post something about wanting to make a change, and not just sitting around waiting for it to happen. Her post was a meme that said "Old ways won't open new doors". To be honest, I generally don't appreciate preachy things like that on a business page, but it is hers to do with as she pleases. After I shook my head, I realized how applicable it is for me. This week in particular was quite challenging emotionally, made so by an emotionally unavailable person. We've all known people like this, I know, but it's worse when you're related to them. When I cried to my therapist (trying to end the stigma here) about yet another horrid display of emotional ineptitude, he asked "Why do you keep dipping into the well when it's dry?" Well (sorry for the pun), I guess it's because I don't perceive it as dry, but merely parched. Lame excuse. The well is never going to be filled. That's just how it is with some people. So why the hell do we torture ourselves? The answer is simple: hope. We all hope with all our might that that person will suddenly have a revelation and realize they're hurting you, change their ways, blah, blah, blah. In most cases, it just doesn't happen. I assure you that is not pessimism. In my 39 years (feels a lot longer), I have known many people, and all sorts of kinds. I have heard story after story and you know what? A lot of them end the same way. I don't expect to change people with this blog, or have some life-altering effect on someone (though you never know!), but I just want to gently remind people: YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP ANYONE IN YOUR LIFE WHO IS HURTING YOU. People seem to forget they matter just as much as the next person. I've met so many people in my life who hurt themselves by allowing someone toxic to remain in their life. Loyalty, duty, respect are all fine ideas, but if you're crying yourself to sleep, these words obviously have no meaning to the person you're holding on to. Your sanity, your emotional well-being, your happiness are simply not worth staying in a bad relationship, whatever the kind. This especially goes for family. Don't forget, you can make your own. Take care of yourself if you want to be able to take care of others.

Warmly (literally, because it's a horrid 88 degrees in my bedroom as I type this - it was 89 a little earlier!),
Susan